dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
