Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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