good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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