Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I pour the whiskey from now on
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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