Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
