we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize