But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
now i know why i became what i already was.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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