What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
