i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Duck Duck Cougar?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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