when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
