Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
