I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
