So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
How does it feel to date your dad?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
