I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
