you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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