I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
