he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
