you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
