oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
