were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
