Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
