Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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