i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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