a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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