I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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