"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Randomize
