just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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