I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
