loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
