I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
