please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
