I think I just saw someone hide a body.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
