Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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