I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
