If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
