dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
