Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
