I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
