she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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