your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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