so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
