Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
