I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I love having hate sex.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
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