i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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