Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
