Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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