I want to have your abortion
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
