6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
