I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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