so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i jhust puked up my retainher.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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