is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
