I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
